Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

When you said friends with benefits, I assumed you meant health and dental.

I am an example to others.
A bad example.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

The meaning of opaque is unclear.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.