Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

The first step of forgiveness is understanding some people are just stupid.

I wanted to give my Uber driver advice instead of cash,
but that wouldn't be fare.

Constipated people don't give a crap.

1988: Don't get into a car with a stranger
2002: Don't meet people on the Internet
2018: Uber

People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.