Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

When you said friends with benefits, I assumed you meant health and dental.

I live by my own rules... that my wife has reviewed, revised and then approved. BUT STILL MY OWN RULES!!!!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.

I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I now live in constant fear.

Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.