Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

I'm now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.