Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I used to work at Twitter, but now I'm an X-employee.
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My coworkers accused me of having OCD, I immediately put them all in their place...
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. Couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.
Used to sleep in one position for hours. Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.
Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.
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