Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

They really need to stock ATMs better. I went to 4 of them today and they all said "insufficient funds."

I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who's going to do it.

If a man said he'll fix it, he'll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it.