Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Did I 'kill a plant" or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment?

I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Everything will kill you, so choose something fun.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.