Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

I once had an argument with a pen. It came to a draw.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

I live by my own rules... that my wife has reviewed, revised and then approved. BUT STILL MY OWN RULES!!!!

Science Tip: You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether it sees you later or in a while.