Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I just changed my relationship status from "left hand" to "right hand"…

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

When I was fired from my job as a stage designer, I just left without making a scene.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Everything will kill you, so choose something fun.

Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.