Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.

My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father." I think he got a pirated copy

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

My friend composes ditties about sewing machines. She's a singer songwriter

When you said friends with benefits, I assumed you meant health and dental.

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day. To be discovered.