Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I thought about making a fake ID, but that’s just not who I am...
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All theses years I thought it was the dryer making my shirts not fit. Now I'm pretty sure it's the refrigerator.
When I was fired from my job as a stage designer, I just left without making a scene.
Before the Internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn't that.
I thought Ariana Grande was a font.
Just between you and me, I think "everything" bagels are making a lot of promises they can't keep.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It's dead yarn now, though.
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