Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I really wish there was some kind of signal drivers could use on their car to notify other drivers that they're turning.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

I think think there's something wrong with my cactus I'm growing but I can't put my finger on it.

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.