Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

What's wrong when a physicist and a biologist enter into a relationship? There's no chemistry.

I saw a math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think she was plotting something.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.