Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

After the doctor left the room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn't want to hear. "Who was that?"

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.