Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The only person you should try to be better than is the one you were yesterday.
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Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
I hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only #1, 3, 5, 7 & 9 were done. Turns out he only does odd jobs.
When I was young we were so poor, we sometimes only had bits of old rope to eat... I would often skip lunch
They really need to stock ATMs better. I went to 4 of them today and they all said "insufficient funds."
People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.
My sarcasm only gets me in trouble when my brain-to-mouth filter is malfunctioning.
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