Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
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I just read a list titled "100 Things to Do Before You Die." I'm pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
The hardest things our kids will do in 20-30 years is finding a username which isn't already taken.
I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting shopping carts. He must have been pushing 70.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.
Adulting is the scariest costume I've ever worn.
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