Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot!

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.

I once had an argument with a pen. It came to a draw.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.