Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Another day, another Facebook memory reminding me of the person I used to be
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Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
Every time Facebook shows me a memory I think 'delete this evidence immediately.'
If I see one more person texting while driving, I am going to roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
I have a photographic memory that I never developed
Any pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.
To the person who stole my glasses - I will find you, I have contacts.
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