Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Life is like a camera—focus on the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, just take another shot!

I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.