Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I think it's about time Taylor Swift
wrote a song called
"Maybe I'm the Problem"
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
My wife thinks I have a hard time verbalizing my emotions. Can't say I'm surprised.
Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
Every time Facebook shows me a memory I think 'delete this evidence immediately.'
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
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