Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
No one goes before their time,
unless the boss leaves early.
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The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.
Before the Internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn't that.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
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