Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Me: I finally got 8 hours of sleep.
Neck: Yeah, but you did it wrong.

I hate it when I'm singing a song, and the artist gets the words wrong.

One of the most expensive things you'll ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.

I loafed around all day because I woke up on the wrong side of the bread.