Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

Don't you wish they made a clap-on clap-off device for some people's mouths?

You come from dust and return to dust. That's why I don't dust. It could be someone I know.

The first step of forgiveness is understanding some people are just stupid.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.