Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I went to buy camouflage pants but couldn't find any.
A friend said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed and having a staff meeting.
I tried to start a hot air balloon business but it never took off.
I don't always post on Facebook, but when I do, it's probably a picture of food.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
My uncle writes 'LOL' on every post including the ones about funerals.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
My financial situation is like an hourglass. Everything eventually falls to the bottom.