Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.

I keep asking what LGBTQ+ stands for, but I never get a straight answer.

Who ever said "Out of sight, out of mind", never had a spider disappear in the bedroom.

I have a photographic memory that I never developed

I sent that 'Ancestry' site some info on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.