Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
If life gives you lemons, at least you won't get scurvy.
The bags under my eyes are designer.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
Don't let your printer know you are in a hurry. They smell fear.
There should be a calorie refund for food that did not taste as good as you expected.
Just because you are offended, does not mean you are right.
I can always spot printers, scanners and keyboards out of the corner of my eye. I guess I have good peripheral vision.
I'm silently correcting your grammar.
I don't know what's tighter, my jeans or my schedule.