Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
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With great reflexes comes great response ability.
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Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
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When I lose the TV controller, it's always in some remote location.
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Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
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Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
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Welcome to our "ool", notice there is no "P" in it, let's keep it that way.
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A friend recently left his long career as a truck driver. He is now semi-retired.
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Nobody else in my family can preserve food, but I can.
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I'm currently helping my son search the house for the chocolate I ate last night.
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