Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
You're the peanut butter to my jelly.
Anything done before the first coffee of the day is a self-defense mechanism.
Smile while you still have teeth.
I don't understand how I can remember a song from 1984, but forget why I walked into the kitchen.
I follow a diet, but it doesn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
You have to be odd to be number one.
I intend to live forever, so far so good.