Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I do all my ironing in the dryer.
Don't worry. If Plan A doesn’t work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
I'm on a seafood diet. If I see food, I eat it.
Sure, I can help you out. Which way did you come in?
Whatever you're doing, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.
A diamond is just a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off of it!
I finally found a machine at the gym that I like: the vending machine.
Don't you tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
I sold the vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.