Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Everyone I know is a "snack getting stuck in a vending machine" away from total collapse.

Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing? Too many cliffhangers

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.

There was a power failure at the mall. I got stuck on an escalator for two hours.

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.