Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I really wish there was some kind of signal drivers could use on their car to notify other drivers that they're turning.

When I was skinnier, I had a shirt that said I could talk to dead people. I can't wear it anymore because I'm no longer a medium.

To be successful in life, have these: backbone, wishbone, and a funny bone.

Don't you wish they made a clap-on clap-off device for some people's mouths?

Adulthood is mostly googling symptoms and reheating coffee.

I wish I knew where I stored my old turntable. Just for my records.