Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
People who say the glass is half full or half empty really don't get it. The glass is refillable.
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2002: Don't meet people on the Internet
2018: Uber
People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.
Before the Internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to information? Yeah. It wasn't that.
I always make full eye contact when placing the stick that separates our groceries.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around. Observe them. Write down notes.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
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