Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Always remember to the change the oil in your time machine once every 6 months or 3,000 years.

Never confuse education with intelligence, you can have a PhD and still be an idiot.

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.