Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it's more of a rap.

In reality, plants are actually farming us, by giving us oxygen daily, until we eventually decompose, so they can consume us.

I have come to the conclusion that buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.

Phew! Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my toaster in the shower this morning.