Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Nine year old has disappeared after using mothers moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.
I sent that 'Ancestry' site some info on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested that I just start over.
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
It's sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs.
Day 44 without eating an apple... doctors are following me everywhere. the police are powerless to intervene.
Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.
"Lazy" is such a strong word. I prefer to call it 'selective participation.'
BREAKING NEWS: The inventor of yodeling has died. Sadly, so did his little old lady too.
"Your career could be in jeopardy"
~ Alex Trebek's agent in 1984
I live by my own rules... that my wife has reviewed, revised and then approved. BUT STILL MY OWN RULES!!!!