Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I keep asking what LGBTQ+ stands for, but I never get a straight answer.
Who ever said "Out of sight, out of mind", never had a spider disappear in the bedroom.
My favorite color is purple. I like it more than blue and red combined.
I thought Ariana Grande was a font.
Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Used to sleep in one position for hours. Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
Everything will kill you, so choose something fun.
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
I have a photographic memory that I never developed