Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My wallet is like an onion - when I open it, it makes me cry.
Turns out you can buy a Birthday cake anytime you want and eat it. Nobody checks.
I just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
Where did the IT guy go? He probably ransomeware.
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
With great reflexes comes great response ability.
Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
When I lose the TV controller, it's always in some remote location.
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.