Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music.
I once had an argument with a pen. It came to a draw.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
I told a joke in my Zoom meeting today. It wasn't even remotely funny.
My coworkers accused me of having OCD, I immediately put them all in their place...