Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Lance is a pretty uncommon name these days, but in medieval times, people were named lance a lot.
I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties to go to my house.
I'm not doing well in my reverse origami class. I'll let you know how it unfolds.
I was meant to keep my joke about manholes a secret. Guess I have blown my cover
In my life I've cut down 173 trees. I know because each time I keep a log.
I finally figured out why vegans are healthier. They have to walk at least twice as far to find a vegan friendly restaurant!
Sleeping in could easily be my superpower, if not for my arch-nemesis having to pee.
Misleading sheep? Must be fake ewes
The four seasons are all different. Summer warmer than others.