Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. At least, that's what I tell myself.
My relationship is like a Tesla. I don't have a Tesla.
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
Don't you wish they made a clap-on clap-off device for some people's mouths?
If we're not supposed to eat at night, then why is there a light in the fridge?
My bank account balance constantly reassures me that I'm safe from identity theft.
My goal in life is to have a Wikipedia page written about me. Maybe just a newspaper article. Ok, I'd accept a journal entry.
I just broke my record for most days on earth. High five!
It's very hard to concentrate when I'm in a room full of cookies!
Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.