Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
If you can't say something nice, say it on Facebook where no one reads past the headline anyway.
I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the tables are bullies, and the wall gets in my way.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I've reached the age where my body is a temple. Ancient, crumbling, and possibly cursed.
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
I'm not old. I'm vintage.
Novinophobia - the fear of running out of wine
It's not that the man couldn't juggle, it's just that he didn't have the balls to do it.
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.