Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.
Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?
I bought a balloon elephant but it wouldn't fit in my car, so I popped the trunk.
I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved.
An apple a day will keep the doctor away if you throw it hard enough.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who's going to do it.
Here I am! What are your other two wishes?
Life is a bowl of soup, and I'm a fork.
I wrote a review for a pair of underwear yesterday. It was brief.