Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I went to one of those trampoline places with my kids but I couldn't get past the bouncers.
I haven't tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So I am pretty sure I hate yoga.
What do solids, liquids and gases have in common? They all matter.
My wife thinks I have a hard time verbalizing my emotions. Can't say I'm surprised.
Did I 'kill a plant" or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment?
It's September. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.
Don’t trust people who avoid the sun. They're shady.
Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to social media?
I had a dream that I was drowning in orange soda. Turned out it was just a Fanta Sea.
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.