Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they're likely to cause.
Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
I don't always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I'm probably at work.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a beautiful day.
I finally realized I'm a morning person. I love mornings. 11 a.m. is my favorite.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
Do snakes have hissy fits?
My doctor told me I’m going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear...