Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring till 2 o'clock this morning.
I never thought I'd be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning… I was right!
The pollen is so thick. I coughed up two daffodils and a pine cone this morning.
The best way to change a woman's mind is to agree with her.
The easiest way to double your money is to fold it over.
I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft.
You know you're broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Don't let anyone else ruin your day. It's your day. Ruin it yourself.