Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I went to get acupuncture the other day, and when I got home my voodoo doll was dead.
Just between you and me, I think "everything" bagels are making a lot of promises they can't keep.
I've just written a song about tortillas; actually, it's more of a rap.
Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
The chicken went to the gym to work on his pecks.
If you can't laugh at yourself, I can help you out.
God created the world. Everything else is made in China.
The best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.
A best friend is someone who clears your search history immediately after you die.